blonde swallow - Blonde swallows goblet of spunk

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Blonde swallows goblet of spunk

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This Blonde has found some Hilarious Blonde Jokes?
A Blonde climbs over a glass wall to see whats on the other side.

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What do you call a blonde standing on her head?

A brunette with bad breath!
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A blonde, brunette and redhead all decide to participate in the swimming of the English channel.

They all decided to do the same stroke as it would be fair and they should all finish at the same time. Not wanting to lose energy quickly, they chose breast stroke.

They all started and a few hours later, the brunette arrives on land, tired.

The next one to complete it, was the redhead, a couple of hours behind the brunette.

Lastly, 6 hours after the brunette had arrived, the blonde clambers on shore, absolutely exhausted.

When the TV crew arrived, they asked her why she took so long, she replied: "Not to be a sore loser or anything, but I think the other two were using their arms."
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There was a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. They were on a road with a tollbooth. At the tollbooth, instead of having to pay to get on the road, they had to state a fact. If they told a lie, the ground would open up and swallow them. The brunette went first, when she got to the tollbooth, she said, "I think red and blue mixed makes purple." she walked onto the road without the ground opening up and swallowing her. The redhead went next. When she got to the tollbooth, she said "I think 2+2 is 4." she walked onto the road without the ground opening up and swallowing her. The blonde went last. When she got to the tollbooth, she said "I think" and the ground opened up and swallowed her.
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So three girls are lined up on execution day, all charged with murder, and are destined to be shot one by one. There was a red head, a brunette, and a blond. The red head was first, the guard lined up his gun and the chief began to direct him with " READY, AIM. .." and the Red head yelled " TORNADO!" Everyone ducked to the ground and the red head escaped just in time. Next was the Brunette. The guard re-lined up his gun and the chief began to call out " READY, AIM.." And the brunette yelled out " HURRICANE!! " once again, everyone ducked and the brunette escaped. By now the blond was finally catching on. The guard re-lined up his gun and the chief began his call again " Ready, Aim!!" And the blond yelled " FIRE

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All the blondes in the world decided to have a "blonde people convention". at the convention the chairman said to the crowd "Today we are going to prove to the world that Blondes are not dumb! i am going to pick some one from the crowd to answer a question, and after he/she answers it, the world will know how smart we really are!" so he picked a girl from the front row and she came on stage. the chairman asked her "whats 2+2?" "6" she said the crowd screamed "GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!" so the chairman said "ok, one more chance. whats 4+3?" "2" she said The crowd shouted "GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!" the chairman said "fine... but this is you LAST chance. Whats 5+3?" "8" she said the crowd shouted "GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!"
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A blonde lady totaled her car in an awful accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from it without a scratch. So, she waited on the side of the road until the officer came to help her. He was in awe. "Ma'am your car looks like it was jumped on by a family of elephants! Are you okay?" he asked. "Oh yeah I'm fine," the blonde replied. Amazed, the officer examins the wrecked car and finally asks, "How in the world did this happen?" So the blonde lady said, "Well I was driving on this road and out of nowhere a tree popped up! So I swerved to the right and there was another tree! And I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! And THEN I swerved..." "Ma'am" the officer cut her off. "There isn't a tree on the road for 30 miles. That was your air freshner swinging back and forth."

There are some good joke teller's on here and there is the better joke tellers , and you are the best...xxx

Can you top this blonde joke?
it's a bit dirty but I love blonde joke's, and I dont want to grow up! so poo on growing up!

what does a blonde and the bermuda triangle have in common?

they both swallow alot of seamen!

so anyways I love blonde jokes and I need some new one's, that one's getting old and I keep telling it with the black hole instead of the bermunda triagle, which doesnt make sence, but that's a blonde for ya!

what do you tell a blonde with two black eye's? nothing, you already told her twice.

Can you read all of these ...Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.

Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.

Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
A: Her IQ goes up!

Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been spotted.

Q: What's the difference between a blond having her period and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Q: Why is a washing machine better than a blonde?
A: Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it won't follow you around for a week.

Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: Why did the deaf blond sit on a newspaper?
A: So she could lip read.

Q: How do you drown a blond?
A: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.

Q: How do you drown a blonde?
A: Don't tell her to swallow.

Q: Why did the blonde chick drown in the pool?
A: Someone left a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies?
A1: 10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties.
A2: Three...one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.

Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
A: Proofreading.

Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W's.

Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?
A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.

Q: What's the Blonde's cheer?
A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."

Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
A: Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds."

Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.

Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.

Q: How does a blonde high-5?
A: She smacks herself in the forehead.

Q: Why did the blonde go half way to Norway and then turn around and come home?
A: It took her that long to discover that a 14 inch Viking was a television.

Q: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?
A: Flattered.

Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives?
A: They always forget the 11 in 9-1-1.

Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
A: An interpreter.

Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A: A mental block.

Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.

Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A: A dope ring.

Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
A: Frosted Flakes.

Q: What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
A: Frosted Flakes.

Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
A: Last year's hide-and-seek champ.

Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
A: A Space Invader.

Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case?
A: Branch Manager.

Q: What do you call a smart blond?
A: A labrador.

Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: "Oh look! Doughnut seeds!"

Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
A: To cover up the valve stem.

Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot.

Q: What's a blonds' favourite rock group?
A: Air Supply.

Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?
A: The back of her head.

Q: Why do blondes drive VW's
A: Because they can't spell PORSCHE!!

Q: How do you make a blond laugh on Monday mornings?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday night!

Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.

Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
A: So they know if it is morning or afternoon.

Q: Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling?
A: A blond electrician

Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A1: So brunettes can remember them.
A2: Because blonds are so SHALLOW a long joke wouldn't fit.

Q: Why are blondes hurt by peoples words?
A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.

Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist?
A: "Why, I just _love_ nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?"

Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes ?
A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.

Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

Q: How do you drive a blonde crazy?
A: Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetise them.

Those were really good! A bunch I haven't heard Have a Star and a couple more.

What is the difference between an blonde and a mosquito..
A mosquito stops sucking when you smack it on the head.

A blonde girl called the police department and reported that she had been assaulted. The officer who answered the phone, asked, "When did this happen?"
She replied, "Last week."
The police then asked, "Why did you wait until now to report it?"
“Well," she said. "I didn't know that I was assaulted until the check bounced."

A blonde and her boyfriend were setting at home one night and became bored. "Hey, let's play a game" she said.
"What game?" was his bored reply.
"Let's play hide 'n' seek. I'll give you a blo job if you can find me."
"What if I can't find you?"
"I'll be behind the piano."

.

Some clean blonde jokes... no intention to hurt anyone... I love & respect them?
Titanic was sinking.
Someone asked a blonde, "How far is land?"
Blonde: 2 miles.
That man jumped into sea.
The man: "In which direction?"
Blonde: "Downwards"

*********

Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where a blonde tourist was stuck up for 48 hrs on an escalator.

*********

Blonde: I have swallowed a key.
Doctor: When?
Blonde: 3 months back
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Blonde: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.

********

A blonde was drawing money from ATM. Another blonde, who was next to her in the queue said:"I've seen ur password. It's xxxx." First blonde: U r wrong. It's 1394.

********

A blonde boy falls in love with a nurse. After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."

********

LOL!!! those were funny, here you go with my best one.
Out of all the blonde jokes, this one has to be the best!
Football FINALLY makes sense..........

A guy took his blonde girlfriendto her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.

After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pantsand all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand

why they were killing each other over 25 cents

"Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback!

Get the quarterback!'

I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!

My blonde dog ate one of my headbands?
i say blonde dog because sometimes he does some pretty stupid things. anyway today i brought all the dogs in and one of my cloth headbands was sitting on the floor and before i got a chance to grab it one of my border collies picked it up and swallowed it whole -.- now it's just a cloth stretchy head band smaller than a sock i would say. should i just not worry about it and let it pass or should i get him to eat the peroxide mixture and have him throw it up?

Keep an eye on him. If he doesn't eat like he would before he swallowed it or something about him changes in a way i would then give him the peroxide mixture or call your vet. Hope I helped! Good luck!

Whattya think of this blonde joke I made up?
Rate it even if you hate it!

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are discussing what they want to be when they graduate from college.
Brunette: I wanna be a physician!
Redhead: I wanna be a gymnist!
Blonde: I wanna be in the circus and swallow whole entire
9 foot long swords!
Brunette: How can you possibly swallow all of a 9 foot sword when you are not even 9 feet tall?
Redhead: Yes, that's true!
Blonde: Hmm... I'll have to think about it.

So the brunette and the redhead are taking a walk in the neighborhood the next day. They see their blonde friend with 9 foot long swords.
Redhead: We told you that you're not even 9 feet tall!
And the blonde says: You guys are stupid, I'd just climb a ladder, dummies!

love it , your a star 10 out of 10 ha ha ha

A blonde one folks xxx funny or not xx?
An exhausted looking blonde dragged herself into the doctor's office. "Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can't get a wink of sleep."

"I have good news for you," the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications.

"Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and your troubles will be over."

"Great," the blonde answered, "I'll try anything. Let's give it a shot."

A few weeks later the blonde returned, looking worse than ever. "Doc, your plan is no good. I'm more tired than before!"

"I don't understand how that could be," said the doctor, shaking his head. "Those are the strongest pills on the market!"

"That may be true," answered the blonde wearily, "but I'm still up all night chasing those dogs and when I finally catch one, it's hard getting him to swallow the pill!"

Glad I am not blonde. hehehe

I saw a movie years ago, could have been 70's not sure.... was western... a wagon train stuck and a blonde ?
lady offers her pearls to the indian man that jumps on top of her... he shoves them down her throat and makes her swallow them killing her can anyone help me with the title please

This could be any movie, i suggest giving a bit more detail

Blonde joke?
An exhausted looking blonde dragged herself into the doctor's office. "Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can't get a wink of sleep."

"I have good news for you," the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications.

"Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and your troubles will be over."

"Great," the blonde answered, "I'll try anything. Let's give it a shot."

A few weeks later the blonde returned, looking worse than ever. "Doc, your plan is no good. I'm more tired than before!"

"I don't understand how that could be," said the doctor, shaking his head. "Those are the strongest pills on the market!"

"That may be true," answered the blonde wearily, "but I'm still up all night chasing those dogs and when I finally catch one, it's hard getting him to swallow the pill!"

hahaha, I kinda saw that coming. Funny though.

Another blonde joke for you?
An exhausted-looking blonde drags herself to the doctor's office. "Doctor, there are loads of dogs on my street. They bark all day and all night, and I can't get a wink of sleep," she says. "I have good news for you," the doctor answers, "Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and your trouble will be over." "Great," the blonde says, "I'll try anything." A few weeks later the blonde returns, looking worse than ever. "Doctor, your plan is no good. I'm more tired than before!" she complains. "I don't understand how that can be", says the doctor, shaking his head, "Those are the strongest pills on the market!" "That may be true," answers the blonde wearily, "But I'm still up all night chasing those dogs, and when I finally catch one it's hard making him swallow the pill."

LMFAO ive starred almost all your joke